richwhitemom:

turn on: when your phone is on 100%

  • Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
  • girl: ....who?
  • me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
that wasn’t very ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of you

(Source: joshpeck)


A N X I E T Y

johnothetree:

fucktheflagandfuckyou:

baiovevo:

Oh u love ur mom? Name 3 of her albums

1) I swear to fucking god I have to do everything in this house
2) No it’s okay I’ll do it myself
3) If I have to ask you one more time I’m gonna lose it

the 4th album is “i’m not mad, i’m disappointed”